Every time I think about you I can't help but bring you to my lips. I know it just makes it worse, makes me need you more, but I cannot let you go. If a day passes and you are not within my reach I can't help but want you, need you. I feel longing for you with every fiber of my being. I wet my lips with my tongue just thinking of you. Yes, I am addicted to you, can't let you go my dear, sweet chapstick.

Yes, every day I flirt with addiction. I just can't let go. It is my own personal form of crack. Every time that waxy fruity tube touches my lips I feel my pulse race. As I swirl it around my lips I close my eyes and relish the feeling. If I run out, I get frantic, afraid I will never get more! If chapstick was a drug, I would be meeting my dealers on the street corner. I can't help it. It started so innocently, but soon it was twisted into this dark form that takes over my thoughts, my life. I will never escape the grasp of chapstick.

So warn your children! Warn your friends! Tell everyone you know. Start a public awareness group and run anti-chapstick ads on television. If you see someone buying chapstick, rip it out of their hands, throw it away from them!