Sometimes I wonder if my woman membership card should be revoked. The latest incident happened at work. I work on Sundays, and this last Sunday a bunch of us were talking about our plans for when we got off work. i said that i was probably going to eat dinner and go straight to bed (I know, exciting life, right?) The girl next to me said, "Well, I'm going to watch the new Oprah movie tonight!"

Immediately everyone started going "Oh yeah! Me too!" Then they all stopped talking and looked at me. It was as if they were expecting me to go "Oh yeah! I had forgotten about that! You're right, that is DEFINITELY my plan for the evening!"

What they got was a blank stare. Inside my head I was going "Oprah? a movie? what?" They kind of looked at me like I had grown a second head while simultaneously giving birth to an alien through my left nostril.

But seriously, I get this all the time. We have about 5-6 tv's around the room I work in. And every single day the Oprah show is on. The day she had her christmas giveaway show or whatever, there was more screaming and oohing and aahing at my work than in Oprahs audience.

Is it weird that i don't watch her show? That i don't care for her narcissistic magazine? Am I supposed to measure the state of the world with her pants size? Honestly, I don't know or care when she is fat Oprah or skinny Oprah or just right Oprah.

The weird thing is that people who like her and people who hate her get along and understand each other. At least to them, Oprah means something to you, whether it's as an inspiration to lose weight, or as someone you hate because she has been on the cover of her own magazine just one too many times. At least either way you are paying attention to her.

It's me they can't figure out.

It's not that I like her or hate her.