When I hear the words "I want to make love to you" or "let's make love!" I cringe a little on the inside, and immediately start inching away from the person who said it. I honestly hate these words. At the best they are cheesy and reminiscent of a bad Harlequin (I can just hear the words "throbbing member" coming sometime in the next three minutes.) At the worst, they are an outright lie and sometimes supremely creepy!



First of all, if we are dating and in love with each other there is no need for these words, we are just two people in love having sex. At this point, I want to do whatever by whatever name you want to call it and have you say "I love you" to me during it. When I hear "making love" under these circumstances, it almost feels like a way to use the word love so you don't end up in the doghouse without actually saying the scary three words phrase(yes, it is a scary phrase for me too.) Plus, it is so cheesy it can sometimes even be a total turn off!



Second situation is where we are just dating, or seeing each other, not necessarily exclusively, and definitely not in love. If this is the case, the words "make love" echo as supremely hollow and without meaning. I take the word love VERY seriously. If it leaves my mouth, I mean it. If it enters my ears, I want to know you mean it too. When I hear it in this situation it makes me either want to laugh at you for being so naïve and using such an inappropriate word, or run away from you as fast as I can and find someone who understands that you don't use the word love in ANY context until you are in love! There are plenty of men out there who get that concept, and appreciate that I get it too. Trust me on this.



The third instance of this is actually what inspired this post in the first place. There is a guy at work who I went to a movie with a couple of months ago. It was not a date, it was more like the two of us had to work late, it was a Saturday night, and neither of us had anything to do after work so we went to the theater a mile down the road and watched a movie. Nothing happened, but we did exchange numbers. Since then we have talked to each other on the phone and seen each other at work sometimes but we never saw each other outside of work again. I didn't feel like I was ready to date yet, and I try not to lead people on.



Lately, I had started to think that maybe I was ready so we stared talking on the phone more and sending each other text messages when I was at work. We were ALMOST to the point where I was going to say OK to a date, in fact, we were discussing what we were going to do or where we were going to go, all that was left was to pick a date and time. Then, in the middle of this discussion, I get the text message "I can't wait to make love to you."



WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?



We have not even been on a date yet! No kiss yet, no hand holding yet. We have not even ridden anywhere in the same car together! And unless 1 tub of popcorn and two cherry cokes as dinner, we haven't done ANY first datey type stuff. And you are sending me THIS message?



Jest to clarify, the words make love do NOT automatically translate into "Oh! He really IS my romantic knight in shining armor because he doesn't just want to have sex, he wants to Make Love! Swoon!" when they enter a woman's mind. In fact, this translated more into "I am a creep and the only reason I have been talking to you and patient with you for the last two months is to get some so hurry up bitch and lets get it on!"



Yeah. Creepy.